


Junko fucked a bucket and now the FBI are searching her dorm

by Karmahatesme



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: F/F, F/M, Healthy Sibling Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jucket forever, Junko isn’t despair crazy, M/M, Mukuro actually gets a personality woo!, Multi, Oh look a rebooted chatfic because my old one was a mess, There’s a lot of sex jokes so be warned, i’m just winging this, junko is an idiot send tweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:07:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karmahatesme/pseuds/Karmahatesme
Summary: ThiccSoldierThighs: the amount of immense disappointment i feel rnBlondeBimbo: mukuro i know you hate me but please can you just get the fbi away from my room and just me in generalScroogeMcDuckKinnie: I doubt she would help such a disgusting cretin like you.BlondeBimbo: shut up swaggie McG I’m having a crisisSmallGremlin: SWAGGIE MCG IM-
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu, Amami Rantaro/Shinguji Korekiyo, Asahina Aoi/Celestia Ludenberg, Asahina Aoi/Kirigiri Kyoko, Asahina Aoi/Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Chou Koukou Kyuu no Sagishi | Ultimate Imposter/Mitarai Ryota, Fukawa Touko/Naegi Komaru, Gokuhara Gonta/Hoshi Ryoma, Hagakure Yasuhiro/Owada Daiya, Hanamura Teruteru/Nidai Nekomaru, Harukawa Maki/Tojo Kirumi, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, Junko Enoshima/Buckey the Bucket, Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Kuwata Leon/Naegi Makoto, Kuwata Leon/Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Kuwata Leon/Togami Byakuya, Mioda Ibuki/Pekoyama Peko, Momota Kaito/Oma Kokichi, Momota Kaito/Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi, Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Owari Akane/Tsumiki Mikan, Shirogane Tsumugi/Yonaga Angie, Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham, Sonia Nevermind/Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham, Sonia Nevermind/Tanaka Gundham
Comments: 75
Kudos: 304





	1. You fool, Junko and Buckey’s bond can never be broken

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go again

_We homo homies 👊😔_

**Seggsy:** why is mr kirigiri staring Junko down?

 **Ludenwhore** : I can only assume that woman did something idiotic.

 **BlondeBimbo** : that is such a rude assumption smh

 **Bluebaerry** : well...did you?

 **BlondeBimbo** : oh yeah lmao

 **vroom vroom** : the fuck did ya do to have our shitty principal giving ya the death glare

 **BlondeBimbo** : well howdy there cowboy 🤠

 **vroom vroom** : fuck off bitch

 **get out me car** : Mondo! That language is not acceptable in this chat!

 **ScroogeMcDuckKinnie** : Very bold of you to assume that anyone would listen. This horrendous chat swears so often that I feel disgusted every time I dare even look at it.

 **BlondeBimbo** : guys whats he saying im dumb

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : to answer your question mondo 

**ThiccSoldierThighs** : the fbi is going through junkos room

 **Bluebaerry** : wh-

 **Seggsy** : WHY????

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : she fucked a bucket

 **SmallGremlin** : she did what.

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : she fucked

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : a bucket

 **Bluebaerry** : suddenly everything makes sense now

 **BlondeBimbo** : well excuse me for finding my wife beautiful 

**vroom vroom** : YOURE FUCKING MARRIED TO A BUCKET???

 **BlondeBimbo** : of course i am

 **BlondeBimbo** : we are talking about me here mondo

 **vroom vroom** : uouve got a point

 **ScroogeMcDuckKinnie** : What a surprise. I am completely shocked at this announcement.

 **BlondeBimbo** : fuck off you want to shag a guy with a dick piercing 

**Kirishima who?** : HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

 **ScroogeMcDuckKinnie** : There are times where I really wish you were the mere cumshot your mother swallowed.

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : same

 **BlondeBimbo** : i would be offended but honestly yeah with the shit i do i can see why you think that

 **Kirishima who?** : ok but Junko seriously how did you know about my piercing 

**BlondeBimbo** : you keep forgetting to lock your fucking door thats why

 **SmallGremlin** : yeah cause he has no braincells 

**Seggsy** : why do you think hes dating byakuya 

**Seggsy** : he needs the brain cells junko 

**Kirishima who?** : literally fuck all of you except Byakubabe <3

 **sexy insomniac** : what have i come back to

 **Ludenwhore** : insanity darling.

 **sexy insomniac** : oh good just the usual 4am experience 

**Seggsy** : Kiri it’s 2pm?

 **sexy insomniac** : i dont know anymore im on my eighth cup of coffee and im starting to see random objects breakdancing 

**Ludenwhore** : ok its time for you to sleep.

 **sexy insomniac** : im too sexy to sleep, it is seen in my name.

 **Ludenwhore** : Hina gave you that name because she simps for you.

 **H2O BITCH** : hey! >:(

 **Ludenwhore** : I’m not wrong dear.

 **H2O BITCH** : I know and that’s what hurts me 👊😔

 **Ludenwhore** : and Mukuro gave me this name because she’s a petty bitch who doesn’t like losing Mario Kart.

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : last I checked you don’t get blue shells in second place you dipshit

 **Ludenwhore** : oh what’s that? I couldn’t hear you over your idiotic whining.

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : at least my girlfriends screams sound like music, your girlfriends screams sound like deadbeat rats.

 **Ludenwhore** : You motherfucker.

 **Bluebaerry** : WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

 **sexy insomniac** : because junko decided to fuck a bucket

 **sexy insomniac** : also why mukuro.

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : it was the first insult I could think of 

**BlondeBimbo** : speaking of buckets

 **BlondeBimbo** : buckey got confiscated and now the fbi want to talk to me in private 

**BlondeBimbo** : this can lead to either two things

 **BlondeBimbo** : porn or me getting arrested 

**ThiccSoldierThighs** : i am not bailing you out of jail

 **Bluebaerry** : neither am i 

**ScroogeMcDuckKinnie** : Don’t even assume I will.

 **sexy insomniac** : just dont even think about any of us bailing you out junko 

**BlondeBimbo** : this is homophobic 

**ThiccSoldierThighs** : says the one who fucked a bucket

 **BlondeBimbo** : YOU LEAVE BUCKEY OUT OF THIS

 **SmallGremlin** : so I left to go talk to Mr Kirigiri and he says that the fbi wants to interrogate you junko

 **BlondeBimbo** : THEYLL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE 

**Seggsy** : Junko I don’t think that’s a good

 **Seggsy** : never mind there she goes jumping out the second floor window

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : the amount of immense disappointment i feel rn 

**BlondeBimbo** : mukuro i know you hate me but please can you just get the fbi away from my room and just me in general

 **ScroogeMcDuckKinnie** : I doubt she would help such a disgusting cretin like you.

 **BlondeBimbo** : shut up swaggie McG I’m having a crisis

 **SmallGremlin** : SWAGGIE MCG IM-

 _  
_ _SmallGremlin has changed ScroogeMcDuckKinnie’s name to ‘Swaggie McG’!_  
  


**Swaggie McG** : I despise you all, except Leon.

 **Kirishima who?** : :0

 **Kirishima who?** : BABE OMG YOU LOVE ME

 **Swaggie McG** : We have been dating for nearly a year now.

 **Kirishima who?** : ye but it just sounds nice to hear!

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : wholesome Homo activity 

**Bluebaerry** : you always come at the right time Mukuro

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : that’s what you told me a few days ago ;)

 **Bluebaerry** : nvm im breaking up with you

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : Wait no- 

**BlondeBimbo** : Sayaka gets called out for being a bottom and OH SHIT THE FBI ARE HERE FUCK FUCK NO STAY AWAY

 **SmallGremlin** : are you using speech to text?

 **BlondeBimbo** : YES I AM NO FUCK OFF NO STAY AWAY IM INNOCENT please remain calm ma’am NO SHUT UP

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : oh dear gods here we go

 **sexy insomniac** : what a surprise

 **sexy insomniac** : junko gets arrested for the fifth time in the span of a month

 **BlondeBimbo** : FUCK YOU KYOKO HWIDBWID 

**H2O BITCH** : at last

 **Bluebaerry** : the evil has been defeated 

**BlondeBimbo** : this is fucking slander ma’am please remain quiet NEVER-


	2. “My idiotic actions are what make me sexy Kyoko”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sexy insomniac: junko enoshima.
> 
> BlondeBimbo: oh shit
> 
> sexy insomniac: i swear to whatever god that exists in this meaningless and useless world, if you do not get rid of that bucket by the end of the day, i will murder you in such a way that the police can not even identify your body.
> 
> BlondeBimbo: sounds sexy lmao
> 
> Bluebaerry: JUNKO

_We homo homies 👊😔_

**BlondeBimbo** : sksksksksk and i oop 

**ThiccSoldierThighs** : one more sksksksksks and I’ll sksksksk-skin you.

 **BlondeBimbo** : i-

 **BlondeBimbo** : WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU????

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : read over your question again.

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : very slowly.

 **BlondeBimbo** : ok understandable have a nice day but that was just fucking rude smh

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : you interrupted me and sayaka watching the twilight saga

 **Bluebaerry** : Yeah >:( we wanted to make fun of the movies together!

 **Bluebaerry** : then we were gonna watch sharkboy and lavagirl and make out during the scary bits 

**H2O BITCH** : the

 **H2O BITCH** : the scary bits of

 **H2O BITCH** : sharkboy and lavagirl???

 **Kirishima who?** : bold words from someone who screamed at the bee movie

 **H2O BITCH** : IT IS AN INCREDIBLY FUCKED UP MOVIE THANK YOU VERY MUCH

 **flower girl** : Ah, hello everyone. Was this a bad time to come online after my training?

 **get out me car** : Oh hello Sakura! It is a great time to come on, as I wish for some parental back up for these...chaotic people.

 **BlondeBimbo** : thats what makes me sexy 

**ThiccSoldierThighs** : no it doesnt

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : anyways dont interrupt us again we are going to watch my comfort movie

 **BlondeBimbo** : walle?

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : yep 

**BlondeBimbo** : have fun and use protection 

**ThiccSoldierThighs** : im going to beat your ass you motherfucker 

**Certified Himbo** : having sex during a Disney movie sounds so,,,cursed,,,

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : it is a cursed concept. which is why me and sayaka arent going to have sex.

 **Certified Himbo** : i dunno sounds kinda sus

 **vroom vroom** : bold words from the guy whos dating MY FUCKING BROTHER

 **BlondeBimbo** : wow the truth came out faster than leon when he saw byakuya

 **Swaggie McG** : We are not even associated with this chat you idiotic beast.

 **Certified Himbo** : omg toges called junko a furry

 **BlondeBimbo** : FUCK YOU WHORE 

**vroom vroom** : DONT TRY TO STEER AWAY FROM THE FUCKING CONVERSATION YOU WEEDHEAD 

**get out me car** : Mondo! Do not be so rude to Yasuhiro!

 **vroom vroom** : fine sorry hiro

 **Certified Himbo** : no problem future brother in law :D

 **vroom vroom** : IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU BITCH

 **flower girl** : Mondo, I would refrain from hurting Hiro, I’m sure he means no harm.

 **vroom vroom** : i hate this fuckinf familt

 **sexy insomniac** : same here bitch.

 **sexy insomniac** : so i got scolded by my dad because of you pieces of shit

 **H2O BITCH** : :0 kyoko babe im so sorry!

 **sexy insomniac** : its not because of you baby, or celestia, or most people in this class.

 **sexy insomniac** : its because of a certain blonde, who does not have an impulse control and therefore does such mindless actions that causes some sort of panic.

 **BlondeBimbo** : The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

**BlondeBimbo** : well that was bad timing

**sexy insomniac** : junko enoshima.

 **BlondeBimbo** : oh shit

 **sexy insomniac** : i swear to whatever god that exists in this meaningless and useless world, if you do not get rid of that bucket by the end of the day, i will murder you in such a way that the police can not even identify your body.

 **BlondeBimbo** : sounds sexy lmao

 **Bluebaerry** : JUNKO

 **BlondeBimbo** : WAIT WHY DO I HAVE TO GET RID OF BUCKEY????

 **sexy insomniac** : because my dad said i lose my coffee privileges until you get rid of it.

 **BlondeBimbo** : well im sorry that you dont know how to sleep properly so you rely on unhealthy amounts of coffee

 **sexy insomniac** : at least i actually drink coffee properly 

**BlondeBimbo** : eh???

 **Kirishima who?** : just came on to agree with kyoko 

**Kirishima who?** : junko you eat the coffee beans

 **BlondeBimbo** : isnt that what youre meant to do??? like how you eat the teabag with your tea???

 **Ludenwhore** : I’m sorry, you do WHAT with teabags?

 **BlondeBimbo** : i eat them

 **BlondeBimbo** : wait are they not a snack for you to eat????

 **SmallGremlin** : NO????

 **BlondeBimbo** :

 **BlondeBimbo** : oh my god im gonna die

 **Ludenwhore** : Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. I hate every inch of your body.

 **BlondeBimbo** : at least i can reach the top shelf

 **Ludenwhore** : YOU ARE A MERE INCOMPETENT BEING WHO I WISH WOULD GET CRUSHED BY A FIRE TRUCK.

 **BlondeBimbo** : kinky

 **H2O BITCH** : junko youre gonna make celestia have a stroke

 **Bear hugs :D** : Oh hello! I’m sorry I’ve been offline a lot! Me and Miss Fukawa were working together on a novel!

 **simp** : i said you can call me toko 

**simp** : anyways is junko causing more breakdowns?

 **BlondeBimbo** : yeah lmao

 **simp** : aight cool anyways gotta go me and Hifumi still have a lot of work to do

 **Bear hugs :D** : Right! Let us continue Toko!

 **Certified Himbo** : loving that those two are the most sane rn

 **Kirishima who?** : its their nerd bonding

 **Kirishima who?** : everytime they nerd out with their fancy words their bond slowly gets stronger 

**sexy insomniac** : yes yes nerds and that shit, junko, give me the bucket.

 **BlondeBimbo** : no

 **sexy insomniac** : junko.

 **BlondeBimbo** : no.

 **sexy insomniac** : fine. i shall just track you then.

 **BlondeBimbo** : wait what-

 **sexy insomniac** : dont even think about hiding.

 **BlondeBimbo** : WAIT KYOKO ILL GET BUCKEY

 **sexy insomniac** : too late. you chose your fate.

 **BlondeBimbo** : KYOKO PKDHWJXBWIX

 **Certified Himbo** : f in the chat for our fallen comrade 

**Kirishima who?** : f

 **SmallGremlin** : f

 **H2O BITCH** : f

 **vroom vroom** : f

 **get out me car** : f (did I do it right?)

 **Certified Himbo** : (yeah good job dude :D)

 **flower girl** : f

 **Bear hugs :D** : f

 **simp** : f

 **Seggsy** : i just got back on what-

 **Seggsy** : oh f

 **Ludenwhore** : She does not deserve such a blessing.

 **Swaggie McG** : 

**Ludenwhore** : you’re going to do it to spite me arent you.

 **Swaggie McG** : Of course I am, Ludenberg.

 **Swaggie McG** : f.

 **Ludenwhore** : You bitch. 

**Kirishima who?** : im so proud omg

 **Bluebaerry** : i have no clue whats happening but f

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : why is my sister getting dragged across the athletics track by kyoko???

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : i just wanted to watch walle guys why did you let her do something dumb???

 **Bluebaerry** : sorry honey :( lets try and continue watching it without any distractions!

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : no no its fine

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : im just gonna go and help kyoko with junko

 **Bluebaerry** : aw ok then! Love you!

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : love you too

 **BlondeBimbo** : I ESCAPED AGAHEGWIDB

 **sexy insomniac** : no you didnt.

 **Ludenwhore** : beat her pathetic blonde ass Kyoko.

 **BlondeBimbo** : IM TOO SEXY TO DIWHWIDHWJD

 **sexy insomniac** : only me and Mukuro are allowed to be the sexy ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names of da homies
> 
> ThiccSoldierThighs: Mukuro  
> Bluebaerry: Sayaka  
> sexy insomniac: Kyoko  
> Ludenwhore: Celestia  
> H2O BITCH: Hina  
> flower girl: Sakura  
> vroom vroom: Mondo  
> get out me car: Taka  
> Seggsy: Makoto  
> Swaggie McG: Byakuya  
> Kirishima who?: Leon  
> Certified Himbo: Hiro  
> simp: Toko  
> Bear hugs :D: Hifumi  
> SmallGremlin: Chihiro  
> BlondeBimbo: Junko


	3. Junko with a kazoo, what war crimes shall she commit?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seggsy: WHY ARE BASS BOOSTED KAZOO RICKROLLS PLAYING???
> 
> ThiccSoldierThighs: i cant catch a fucking break can i 
> 
> Bluebaerry: :(
> 
> ThiccSoldierThighs: junko im going to beat you up bitch
> 
> BlondeBimbo: do it pussAgwifhwoe
> 
> ThiccSoldierThighs: the evil is gone

_We homo homies 👊😔_

**get out me car** : Fellow friends and classmates! Mr Kirigiri has informed me that there will be supported study for particular subjects you may struggle with. I hope you take this opportunity to help improve!

 **SmallGremlin** : thanks taka this is helpful!

 **flower girl** : Thank you very much for this information Taka.

 **BlondeBimbo** : EYYYY I DONT HAVE TO BE A DUMB BITCH ANYMORE LMAOOOO

 **H2O BITCH** : mr kirigiri took one look at junko and he really said “special classes for you bitch 🤡”

 **BlondeBimbo** : OH SHUT UP YOU FAIL THREE CLASSES AND SUDDENLY YOU GET THE ENTIRE STUDENT COUNCIL UP YOUR ASS ABOUT IMPROVING YOUR GRADES

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : ignoring junko for a brief moment

 **BlondeBimbo** : HEY 

**ThiccSoldierThighs** : i really need to get my maths grade up so this is going to be helpful for me

 **BlondeBimbo** : bitch youre gay thats why you cant do maths

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : thats true but ive been stressing over my other subjects as well

 **get out me car** : Mukuro, it is always a good idea to take breaks, I try meditation when I’m stressed, so perhaps you could try it?

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : maybe maybe but anyways junkos banned from the cafeteria now 

**BlondeBimbo** : you put a coin in the microwave and watch it blow up and suddenly youre in detention with Taka yelling at you

 **get out me car** : It was morally wrong of you!

 **BlondeBimbo** : listen in my defence celestia told me it would create a cool fireworks show

 **Ludenwhore** : yet you didnt think to interpret that sentence in another sense?

 **BlondeBimbo** : youre all so fucking mean to me 😔

 **Swaggie McG** : I doubt anyone cares. You a mere pathetic specimen who should just crawl away into a corner and cry about your ‘bucket wife’.

 **BlondeBimbo** : bold words from someone who got a secret tongue piercing 

**Swaggie McG** : How do you even know about that.

 **BlondeBimbo** : mikan told me about how you and leon came into her nurses office with your tongue piercings stuck together because you two made out 

**H2O BITCH** : GET SOME BYAKUYA

 **Swaggie McG** : Silence you donut whore.

 **H2O BITCH** : i 

**Ludenwhore** : whore gang unite

 **BlondeBimbo** : :0 WHORE GANG?????

 **Ludenwhore** : oh dear god

 **vroom vroom** : istg if i hear junko scream about the whore gang one more time im gonna ride my bike into a wall

 **SmallGremlin** : that makes it sound like you just ride around in a bicycle instead of a motorbike

 **H2O BITCH** : omg,,,what if he does,,,

 **vroom vroom** : I DO NOT YOU FUCKING BITCH

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : he tries to act threatening and says he’ll get his gang on you and then you just see them all riding up to you in tiny bicycles

 **Bluebaerry** : plot twist they’re tricycles

 **H2O BITCH** : BEIDBWIFH YES JUST FUCKING YES 

**vroom vroom** : SHUT UP BITCH ILL BEAT YOUR ASS

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : you dare threaten sayaka again and you’ll be the one with a broken arm.

 **vroom vroom** : yes ma’am.

 **Bluebaerry** : now thats hot

 **BlondeBimbo** : you are such a bottom sayaka 

**Bluebaerry** : well excuse me for finding Mukuro hot 

**BlondeBimbo** : you simp for my sister bitch of course im gonna call you out

 **Bluebaerry** : LITERALLY HAVE YOU SEEN MUKURO???

 **sexy insomniac** : i agree, she is hot.

 **Ludenwhore** : And those muscles, damn I wouldn’t mind getting crushed by her.

 **H2O BITCH** : YEAH LIKE MA’AM,,,PLEASE CRUSH ME WITH YOUR THIGHS,,,

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : smells like thirsting bitches in here

 **Seggsy** : LNWIXBWODJ MUKURO IN FOR THE KILL-

 **SmallGremlin** : she really went “silence BOTTOMS” 

**Bluebaerry** : where are you babe?

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : in my dorm, why?

 **Bluebaerry** : wait right there.

 **Certified Himbo** : oooo she jealous

 **Kirishima who?** : oooo they fucking

 **BlondeBimbo** : oooo i found my old kazoo.

 **simp** : and for what reason did you feel the need to have to tell us?

 **BlondeBimbo** : cus i can do this

 **vroom vroom** : did

 **vroom vroom** : did you just fucking attach the kazoo to a trumpet???

 **vroom vroom** : AND THEN PLAYED IT LIKE IT WAS FUCKING NOTHING???

 **BlondeBimbo** : its my secret ultimate talent 

**BlondeBimbo** : and now I’m gonna do a pro gaymer move

 **SmallGremlin** : im terrified but also curious

 **H2O BITCH** : you basically described how everyone acts when they first meet Mukuro or Celestia 

**Ludenwhore** : usually they leave me alone when I show them my fake fangs.

 **Ludenwhore** : I hate talking to others anyways so it’s perfectly fine for me.

 **Seggsy** : WHY ARE BASS BOOSTED KAZOO RICKROLLS PLAYING???

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : i cant catch a fucking break can i 

**Bluebaerry** : :(

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : junko im going to beat you up bitch

 **BlondeBimbo** : do it pussAgwifhwoe

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : the evil is gone

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : now please

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : can you guys give me a break for once 

**vroom vroom** : Ah shit sorry Muks 

**get out me car** : Do not worry Mukuro! I shall keep the class under control and this will allow you to relax!

 **ThiccSoldierThighs** : thanks i need this rn

_The Pop Star and her Bodyguard Gf_

_  
_**Princess** : Muku are you ok??? I’m really worried for you :(

 **Brave Knight** : yeah yeah just a little bit more stressed nowadays

 **Brave Knight** : im failing two of my classes and i cant risk my parents finding out cause theyll pull me out of the academy 

**Brave Knight** : plus i cant deal with the class and messing shit up 

**Brave Knight** : its all just kicking in and i want a fucking break but im not gonna have that am i??

 **Princess** : Muku, I promise I’ll be here for you, and I’ll help in any way to take your stress away and to help you relax! I want you to happy and it hurts just seeing you try to hide your problems from everyone else :(

 **Brave Knight** : thanks sayaka but i think im gonna turn in for an early night.

 **Princess** : ok baby! Gn! I love you!

 **Brave Knight** : I love you too sweetheart.   
  


Mukuro set her phone down onto her desk, the engraved marks etched into the wood always caught Mukuro’s eye. She traced her fingers over them, getting distracted with ease and finding herself making a pattern.

The real reason she was stressed wasn’t because she was failing classes, in actuality she was acing every single class she was in.

_It was because she was going to get deployed back into a war-zone in a weeks time.  
_

_Nobody knew, not even her own sister._

_And Mukuro was going to keep it that way._

_She didn’t want Sayaka to get hurt. Never again._


	4. The Power Rangers were all on crack send tweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob: The power rangers were on crack
> 
> Chimken Nuggies: hey op wheres the fucking proof
> 
> Bella: me, kazuichi and Gundham spoke of this together!
> 
> Bella: how exactly did they create such huge robots and yet not a single building was damaged or destroyed? Or no people were killed?
> 
> *screams aggressively*: eyo i didnt want my childhood ruined but thanks :D

_What the fuck is even going on_

**Chimken Nuggies** : hey guys just came here to say that you shouldnt go into the kitchen rn because it is currently on fire :D

 **FineASS Chef** : NOT THE KITCHEN WHAT

 **FineASS Chef** : WHO DID THIS IMMA GET MA WOODEN SPOON 

**FineASS Chef** : wait where is my wooden spoon???

 **Creeper? Aw man** : Oh, is that what I broke? I’m so terribly sorry Teruteru, trash like me shouldn’t even be allowed near such fine utensils.

 **FineASS Chef** : nah nah its fine nagito it was an accident

 **FineASS Chef** : accidents happen all the time!

 **#SELFIE** : Hiyoko don’t even think about it.

 **Macarena** : I DIDNT EVEN SAY SHIT THIS IS HOMOPHOBIC 

**Macarena** : oh yeah it was junko that set fire to the kitchen

 **Macarena** : something about pennies in a microwave 

***screams aggressively*** : OH IBUKI TRIED THAT ONCE! it didn’t end well :((

 **tiny bitch** : i nearly got fuckin killed because of that shit

 **Macarena** : but you didnt now stop whining bitch

 **tiny bitch** : i will fucking kill you bitch

 **Macarena** : with what bitch your bodyguard thats making out with my best friend rn??

 **tiny bitch** : god dammit peko you gay bitch

 **FineASS Chef** : ok so from what ive gotten

 **FineASS Chef** : we need a new microwave and its junko thats going to be sacrificed to Gundham?

 **FineASS Chef** : good to know good to know

 **Creeper? Aw man** : Ah, I’m not surprised that Junko would do a thing like that, she is rather...what’s the word?

 **Macarena** : dumb?

 **tiny bitch** : dumb?

 **#SELFIE** : dumb?

 **Creeper? Aw man** : Yep, that’s the word.

 **man tibbies** : guess which bitch is failing geometry again

 **man tibbies** : this sexy bitch

 **man tibbies** : oh shit Junko blew up something that wasnt the toaster?

 **Creeper? Aw man** : apparently so

 **Creeper? Aw man** : also Hajime do you want me to tutor you again? I know geometry isn’t your strength so I’d love to help

 **man tibbies** : yeah thanks Koko

 **FineASS Chef** : Koko 👀

 **Macarena** : Koko 👀

 **#SELFIE** : Koko 👀

 **tiny bitch** : Koko 👀

 ***screams aggressively*** : KOKO 👀

 **Chimken Nuggies** : Koko 👀

 **man tibbies** : this is bullying and homophobia and i wish for it to stop

 **Macarena** : with our class you know fully well it is not going to stop

 **Bella** : I agree :D

 **man tibbies** : oh hey sonia

 **Edward** : I am here also.

 **Jacob** : And so am I :3

 **Macarena** : never make that face again or ill headbutt you in the dick

 **Jacob** : the only advantage you get with your height

 **Macarena** : sleep with one eye open tonight.

 **Jacob** : awwww shit 

**#SELFIE** : ignoring another death threat from Hiyoko

 **#SELFIE** : Gundham! How was your date with Kaz and Sonia?

 **Edward** : it was indeed a lovely time with them, however we did get a lot of stares from others.

 **#SELFIE** : Aw I’m sorry that happened, it’s been happening a lot with the couples in Hope’s Peak, especially the same sex ones.

 **Edward** : It is indeed annoying, however, my queen of darkness and my king of the ocean handle these things well.

 **Jacob** : King of the ocean? That’s new

 **Bella** : It’s because you’re sharkboy!

 **Jacob** : Holy shit I love it thanks Gundham bb

 **man tibbies** : i love how happy you guys are! You’re like one of the healthiest and happiest couples of Hope’s Peak.

 **Jacob** : Haha yeah!,,

 **Jacob** :,,,anyways I have an important announcement 

**man tibbies** : oh god what is it

 **Jacob** : The power rangers were on crack

 **Chimken Nuggies** : hey op wheres the fucking proof

 **Bella** : me, kazuichi and Gundham spoke of this together!

 **Bella** : how exactly did they create such huge robots and yet not a single building was damaged or destroyed? Or no people were killed?

 ***screams aggressively*** : eyo i didnt want my childhood ruined but thanks :D

 **Chimken Nuggies** : holy shit youre right,,,

 **Chimken Nuggies** : ah well pink ranger was still the cutest

 **Macarena** : hell nah the yellow ranger was way cuter 

**tiny bitch** : youre only saying that cause youre fucking favourite colour is yellow 

**Macarena** : how fucking dare you WHORE

 ***screams aggressively*** : YELLOW RANGER SUPREMACY!!

 **Macarena** : THANK YOU AT LEAST SOMEONE ELSE HERE HAS TASTE

 **tiny bitch** : ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING DUMB THE PINK RANGERS THE BEST

 **man tibbies** : PINK WAS BASICALLY A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

 **Chimken Nuggies** : dont you fucking DARE disrespect pink ever again

 **man tibbies** : wh 

**Creeper? Aw man** : I’ve never seen Akane so interested in a debate before.

 **Macarena** : shes been typing for a long time

 **#SELFIE** : ah geez here we go again

 **Chimken Nuggies** : The Pink ranger in every single series of Power Rangers is easily the best character, shes always smarter and has the best story arcs centered around her in episodes, and when has Pink ever acted like a fucking damsel in distress, she has saved the Rangers multiple times throughout the series because they don’t give her a fucking break even in the og series Mighty Morphin Power Rangers she saved the Rangers while she was FUCKING SICK. Yellow is easily just seen as a love interest for Green or Black ranger, who just so happens to have zero personality and relies on others to give them character. Whereas Pink as a WHOLE ASS HAREM. Your argument is simply too fucking weak because Pink is one, if not the, best character in every single season of Power Rangers.

 **Macarena** : that has copypasta potential im saving that

 **#SELFIE** : THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY????

 **Macarena** : i mean yeah Akane brings up good points

 **tiny bitch** : i hate how much we get into stupid topics

 ***screams aggressively*** : THE POWER RANGERS ARENT STUPID

 **tiny bitch** : YES THEY FUCKING ARE HAVE YOU SEEN SOME OF THE NEW SHIT???

 ***screams aggressively*** : YES I HAVE AND NOW THE SHOW IS ONLY IMPROVING BITCH

 **Chimken Nuggies** : brb about to write another paragraph 

**Jacob** : who would’ve thought that me bringing up the power rangers being on crack would lead to Akane going off about the Pink ranger being the best 

**man tibbies** : i hate this class so fucking much sometimes

 **Macarena** : shut up whore go suck off nagito for a Scooby snack

 **man tibbies** : WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN


	5. The one where Peko gets her hand stuck in a jar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *screams aggressively*: SOOOO THERES A TINSY TINY LITTLE SITUATION INVOLVING PEKO :(((
> 
> FineASS Chef: please dont tell me what I think happened
> 
> Macarena: the fucking loser got her hand stuck in a jar and now shes just sitting on the floor sadly 
> 
> Macarena: its fucking hilarious

_What the fuck is even going on_

**Macarena** : hello bitches 

**Macarena** : God has let me live another day so of course I’m making it your guys problem

 **tiny bitch** : hooray, im now going to fucking leave

 **#SELFIE** : at least she hasnt started a fight yet

 **Chimken Nuggies** : just you wait mahiru

 **Chimken Nuggies** : shes gonna say something thatll piss fuyuhiko off and then theyll fight 

**#SELFIE** : accurate, very accurate 

***screams aggressively*** : GOOOOD NOM NOM NOMMING :D

 **Should’ve picked Mercy** : mmorning!!

 **Chimken Nuggies** : EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP MY WIFE IS HERE

 **Chimken Nuggies** : heyyyy Miki :DDDD

 **Should’ve picked Mercy** : hhhello aaakane!!!

 **Macarena** : fucking lesbians

 **Chimken Nuggies** : youre a lesbian too you cant say shit

 ***screams aggressively*** : BESIDES IBUKI SAW HIYOKO AND MAHIRU CUDDLING IN THE KITCHEN!!!

 **Macarena** : when the fuck were you in the kitchen???

 ***screams aggressively*** : IBUKI WASNT!! IBUKI WAS IN THE VENTS!!

 **Macarena** : what the fuck

 **Jacob** : IS THAT WHY I HEARD SOMEONE RANDOMLY SAY BLESS YOU TO ME WHEN I SNEEZED ALL ALONE IN MY LAB??

 **Jacob** : I JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS GOD

 ***screams aggressively*** : NOPE!! JUST IBUKI BEING IBUKI!! :DDD

 ***swings aggressively*** : Ibuki. Please do not tell me you raided the pantry last night.

 ***screams aggressively*** : OKIE DOKIE! IBUKI WONT TELL YOU PEKO!!

 ***swings aggressively*** : God dammit.

 **tiny bitch** : DID SHE EAT ALL THR FUCKING COOKIES???

 **#SELFIE** : yep, now there’s just a bunch of empty jars

 **Chimken Nuggies** : NOOOOO MY FOOD 

**Sus** : I am not surprised, yet still disappointed.

 **FineASS Chef** : dont worry ill make more food for you guys!

 **Creeper? Aw man** : Thank you Teruteru, you are very kind to our class

 **FineASS Chef** : Ah I just wanna make sure you guys don’t go hungry! Health matters and food is a big part of health!

 **Coach McScream** : HELL YEAH!! EATING FOOD AND WORKING OUT ARE TWO MAJOR FACTORS FOR HEALTH!! YOU GOTTA MAKE SURE YOURE WELL RESTED AS WELL AND TO DRINK PLENTY OF WATER!!

 **FineASS Chef** : listen to my husband y’all he knows what’s best 

**Coach McScream** : AWWW TERU 🥰

 **#SELFIE** : this is why you’re one of hope’s peaks cutest couples!

 **Jacob** : quite honestly I’m offended me, Sonia and Gundham aren’t on that list 😔

 **#SELFIE** : Sorry Kaz, but Mukuro and Sayaka, Tsumugi and Angie and Teruteru and Nekomaru all beat you out on that one 

**Jacob** : understandable have a nice day

 **I’m already Tracer** : sup fuckers ive witnessed several war crimes in the span of 2 hours and im ready to collapse 

**Creeper? Aw man** : Well that certainly doesn’t sound good...

 **Jacob** : Aww chi! You should rest when you can

 **I’m already Tracer** : no

 ***swings aggressively*** : I could simply bonk you.

 **I’m already Tracer** : wait please i havent lived a good life 

**Chimken Nuggies** : have any of us really? 

**Macarena** : stop getting philosophical i literally saw you eat 2 pounds of raw cookie dough in 5 minutes 

**Should’ve picked Mercy** : aaakaneeee :(((

 **Chimken Nuggies** : I AM A FOOD GOD THAT CANNOT BE STOPPED BY MERE ‘SALMONELLA’ 

**tiny bitch** : the doctors will love to hear that excuse again wont they

 **Macarena** : like they havent seen you over 10 fucking times because you keep eating ice cream even tho youre lactose intolerant 

**tiny bitch** : FUCK YOU AND STAY AWAY FROM MY MINT CHOC CHIP ICE CREAM

 **Macarena** : IM STAYING 6 FEET AWAY FROM THAT DISGUSTING SHIT JUST GO AND EAT TOOTHPASTE 

**#SELFIE** : we are not having another god damn argument about mint chocolate chip ice cream.

 **Macarena** : fine but only for you

 **Chimken Nuggies** : Aww you do have a heart!

 **Macarena** : but you wont in a minute.

 **Chimken Nuggies** : what 

**Chimken Nuggies** : Hiyoko?

 **Chimken Nuggies** : oh f u c k

 **Sus** : i would recommend running Akane.

 **Chimken Nuggies** : im about to run so fast my insecurities cant catch up to me

 **Bella** : go akane! run from the wild lesbian!

 **tiny bitch** : i can actually fucking hear hiyokos footsteps theyre so fucking fast

 **Coach McScream** : HELL YEAH!! THIS IS A GREAT WORKOUT FOR THE BOTH OF YOU!! JUST MAKE SURE TO NOT HURT EACH OTHER!!

 **FineASS Chef** : y’all better listen to your dad

 **Macarena** : HES NOT MY DAD 

**tiny bitch** : heyo dont disrespect your fucking dad like that hiyoko 

**Macarena** : FUCK YOU BITCH GO DRINK MILK AND DIE 

**tiny bitch** : THATS NOT HOW IT FUCKING WORKS

 ***screams aggressively*** : UHHHHH HI GUYS

 ***screams aggressively*** : SOOOO THERES A TINSY TINY LITTLE SITUATION INVOLVING PEKO :(((

 **FineASS Chef** : please dont tell me what I think happened

 **Macarena** : the fucking loser got her hand stuck in a jar and now shes just sitting on the floor sadly 

**Macarena** : its fucking hilarious

 **Macarena** : saw it on my way when i was chasing akane and i just had to stop and make fun of her for a minute

 **I’m already Tracer** : for some reason i just imagine Hiyoko laughing like Nelson from the simpsons 

**Macarena** : tbh yeah i kinda do laugh like him

 **tiny bitch** : embrace your inner nelson 

**Macarena** : embrace your inner boss baby 

**tiny bitch** : you motherfucker

 ***swings aggressively*** : i am sad :(

 **#SELFIE** : give me a minute peko im omw over to help

 ***screams aggressively*** : IBUKI TRIED USING LUBE BUT IT DIDNT WORK :(((

 **#SELFIE** :...

 **#SELFIE** : why did you have lube on you in the first place?

 ***screams aggressively*** : dont ask questions you dont want answers to mahiru.

 **Macarena** : GO TO HORNY JAIL YOU FUCKERS

 ***swings aggressively*** : WHY DO YOU HAVE A BASEBALL BAT?????

 **Sus** : oh dear lord give me strength.

 **Macarena** : LEON LEANT IT TO ME NOW STOP FUCKING RUNNING BITCH

 **Coach McScream** : IM COMING TO HELP PEKO!! ILL MAKE SURE MY DAUGHTER DOESNT HURT YOU OR IBUKI!!

 **Macarena** : YOU ARE NOT MY FUCKING DAD 

**Chimken Nuggies** : they have no idea im going to eat more raw cookie dough while theyre away

 **tiny bitch** : AKANE NO

 **Chimken Nuggies** : SALMONELLA CANT STOP THE TASTE OF FUCKING FREEDOM BITCHES 


	6. Me and the homies about to go and commit several war crimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thotticus: i fucking swear if i see junko do one more fucking tik tok dance in the common room i am going to snap
> 
> Tinky Winky: isnt she your cousin?
> 
> Thotticus: nothings gonna stop me from beating her ass
> 
> Tojo Joestar: Just don’t leave too much of a mess for me to clean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, V3 kids
> 
> *disappears into the void*
> 
> Names of the dumbasses
> 
> Kaede: Vanessa Carlton  
> Miu: Thotticus  
> Shuichi: Blue’s Clues  
> Kokichi: Tinky Winky  
> Rantaro: Dipsy  
> Angie: Laa Laa  
> Himiko: Po  
> Tsumugi: Another Blue Item  
> Korekiyo: Luigi  
> Kaito: Space Jam 2  
> Maki: Hates Children  
> Kirumi: Tojo Joestar  
> Ryoma: Lasagne Loving Cat  
> Kiibo: Do the Robot  
> Tenko: Goku?

_The Family Disappointments_

  
**Vanessa Carlton** : Morning guys! I feel like today’s gonna be a wonderful day!

 **Thotticus** : WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT SWAPPED THE SUGAR WITH SALT 

**Blue’s Clues** : two types of people 

**Tojo Joestar** : I can think of two people who would do such a thing Miu.

 **Tojo Joestar** : Rantaro and Kokichi.

 **Tinky Winky** : HEY THATS SO RUDE

 **Dipsy** : HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT WE WOULD DO SUCH A THING

 **Laa Laa:** well, did you?

 **Tinky Winky** : yeah lmao we did

 **Dipsy** : worth it when we saw miu choke on her coffee before throwing the mug at kokichi

 **Po** : just had to experience a crime first thing in the morning,,,nyeh,,,

 **Goku?** : Aww Himi! Sorry you had to see such idiots acting that way! Degenerate males like them shouldn’t be pranking people!

 **Dipsy** : I thought we were homies Tenko...

 **Goku?** : Perish.

 **Thotticus** : Rantaro has no rights 2021

 **Vanessa Carlton** : can I join this bullying Rantaro day?

 **Another Blue Item** : :0! Can I as well?

 **Dipsy** : YOURE NOT EVEN A PART OF THIS CONVERSATION TSUMUGI >:(

 **Po** : sacrifice the little bitch

 **Dipsy** : im taller than you this is bullying

 **Goku?** : ill punt you into a whole new galaxy if you dont shut up

 **Dipsy** : WHAT DID I EVEN DO???

 **Another Blue Item** : exist :)

 **Dispy** : fuck you man we watched voltron together

 **Another Blue Item** : dont remember didnt happen.

 **Laa Laa** : Tsu Tsu would never watch such a horrid show!

 **Blue’s Clues** : yeah she watches fairy tail and simps for mirajane 

**Another Blue Item** : she could kill me and id thank her tbh

 **Dipsy** : me but with gray

 **Another Blue Item** : basic

 **Dipsy** : WH

 **Tinky Winky** : get called out rantaro 

**Dipsy** : YOU LITERALLT TOLD ME YOUD LET LAXUS CRUSH YOU

 **Tinky Winky** : THATS NOT BASIC THATS JUST ME BEING GAY BITCH

 **Dipsy** : WHY IS EVERYONE BULLYING ME TODAYDBWODBWID

 **Luigi** : because like Tsumugi said, you are a ‘basic bitch’.

 **Thotticus** : yuh like you only like gray cause hes half naked all the time 

**Dipsy** : NO I DO N O T THESE ARE FALSE CLAIMS

 **Luigi** : they are not false claims. you admitted to me you wish gray would freeze you to death while he was shirtless.

 **Dipsy** : Kork, I love you bby, but please shut up

 **Luigi** : never.

 **Dipsy** : :(

 **Lasagne Loving Cat** : today is one of those days isnt it.

 **Tojo Joestar** : indeed. i would recommend staying away from Miu and Kokichi for the whole day.

 **Hates Children** : like i dont already do that.

 **Space Jam 2** : Maki roll :(

 **Hates Children** : i told you to stop calling me that.

 **Space Jam 2** : right right sorry

 **Space Jam 2** : anyways sorry about kokichi being a bit more bitchy today

 **Space Jam 2** : forgot to give him his morning cuddles

 **Tinky Winky** : bitch im still waiting for them

 **Blue’s Clues** : if i give you the cuddles will you stop pranking people today?

 **Tinky Winky** : no cause youre a twink and you give twink hugs

 **Blue’s Clues** : Wh 

**Blue’s Clues** : What????

 **Thotticus** : TWINK HUGS WHDBWIDH BOI YOU JUST GOT CALLED OUT

 **Tinky Winky** : yeah!! kaito gives bear hugs!! you give twink hugs!!

 **Blue’s Clues** : WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???

 **Another Blue Item** : it means your hugs arent as back crushing as kaitos

 **Space Jam 2** : i cant help it im too buff 😔

 **Tinky Winky** : no youre not youre a little bitch

 **Space Jam 2** : YOURE SO MEAN :((((

 **Hates Children** : hes lying kaito.

 **Space Jam 2** : oh rigjt

 **Space Jam 2** : im still not the best from figuring out whats the truth and whats a lie sorry :(

 **Blue’s Clues** : dont worry kaito ill help you with that

 **Space Jam 2** : Awww thanks Shuichi! I can always count on you!

 **Thotticus** : gay gay homosexual gay

 **Vanessa Carlton** : Aww so cute!

 **Goku?** : two types of people 

**Po** : miu and kaede are exact opposites and idk whats funnier

 **Po** : their huge difference in humour

 **Po** : or the fact that ones the impulse control and the other has no impulse control 

**Thotticus** : oi

 **Thotticus** : shut up

 **Goku?** : wanna go?

 **Thotticus** : yeah i wanna go

 **Goku?** : meet me outside by the running track.

 **Goku?** : dont keep me waiting.

 **Thotticus** : wait tenks it was a joke

 **Thotticus** : tenko?

 **Hates Children** : shes actually waiting for you

 **Tojo Joestar** : i can see her from my dorm window.

 **Thotticus** : f u c k

 **Thotticus** : kaebabe 🥺

 **Vanessa Carlton** : ill go talk to tenko 

**Thotticus** : THANK YOU BBY MWAH

 **Tinky Winky** : fucking lesbians

 **Tinky Winky** : i would never be that whipped smh

 **Space Jam 2** : kokichi im here!! gonna give you your cuddles!!

 **Tinky Winky** : coming baby 🥰

 **Dipsy** : smh imagine being whipped

 **Luigi** : you tried to highlight my face once because you said it was important.

 **Dipsy** : THATS CAUSE YOU ARE AND YOU KNOW IT

 **Laa Laa** : this class is a mess at times

 **Lasagne Loving Cat** : hey it could be worse

 **Lasagne Loving Cat** : at least we dont have Junko in this class

 **Tojo Joestar** : oh yes. junko is transferring to our class next week.

 **Lasagne Loving Cat** : FUCK

 **Po** : NO WHAT

 **Laa Laa** : Ryoma you jinxed it 

**Lasagne Loving Cat** : i didnt mean to what the fuck

 **Tojo Joestar** : that was a joke.

 **Tojo Joestar** : as kokichi would say

 **Tojo Joestar** : gottem

 **Hates Children** : never say that again.

 **Tojo Joestar** : gottem.

 **Hates Children** : you cant do that thats illegal

 **Tojo Joestar** : gottem.

 **Hates Children** : i cant even threaten you cause youre my girlfriend and you would whack me with a mop

 **Do the Robot** : oh dear maybe i shouldnt have logged back on

 **Tinky Winky** : omg keebs

 **Do the Robot** : no.

 **Tinky Winky** : do robots have

 **Do the Robot** : no.

 **Tinky Winky** : yknow

 **Do the Robot** : NO.

 **Tinky Winky** : d i c k s 

**Do the Robot** : i hate you.

 **Tinky Winky** : :3c

 **Do the Robot** : how about you feel my metal foot up your ass.

 **Tinky Winky** : wait what

 **Do the Robot** : i will find you.

 **Tinky Winky** : WAIT NOWHDIWBDIEH

 **Space Jam 2** : my husband died smh 😔


	7. The Lorax was a cinematic masterpiece - A story told by Rantaro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tinky Winky: yknow the onceler was kinda sexy
> 
> Thotticus: dear god we are not having this conversation at 2:30am
> 
> Dipsy: I agree with Kokichi
> 
> Another Blue Item: we get it rantaro you like tall guys 
> 
> Dipsy: SHUT UP

_The Family Disappointments_

  
**Po** : our entire world is purely a simulation

 **Po** : no one is real

 **Goku?** : Himiko go back to sleep it’s 2am

 **Po** : let me theorise in peace tenko 

**Laa Laa** : Angie thinks you should rest more Himiko, staying up so late will mean you are using so much of your mana! And that is not a good thing!

 **Tojo Joestar** : I will force you to sleep.

 **Laa Laa** : that too

 **Po** : mmmmmmmmm ignore all problems

 **Po** : become microwave

 **Tinky Winky** : omg we having a party for not sleeping 🥰

 **Po** : it’s a regular event come and join us

 **Thotticus** : alright whores what is it this time 

**Po** : I have a theory that the government have put us all in a simulation 

**Tinky Winky** : why sleep when you can listen to our queen Katy Perry ❤️   
  
**Tojo Joestar** : I’m not answering. 

**Goku?** : nightmares so i went to drown my sorrows in coffee

 **Laa Laa** : late night art project 

**Thotticus** : Cmon Tsumugs and Rantaro

 **Thotticus** : i know you two are online

 **Tinky Winky** : Miu rn: pspspspspspspsps Cmon kitties

 **Thotticus** : shhh youll scare em

 **Another Blue Item** : im angie’s late night art project 

**Thotticus** : Damn girl-

 **Another Blue Item** : she’s making a sculpture of me so I have to keep a pose but we took a break

 **Dipsy** : im watching the Lorax❤️

 **Tojo Joestar** : And here I thought your response would be reasonable Rantaro.

 **Dipsy** : AT LEAST IT ISNT PORN 

**Tojo Joestar** : I WOULD RATHER IT BE PORN THAN HEARING YOU SQUEAL EVERYTIME THE YOUNG ONCELER CAME ON.

 **Dipsy** : ok no need to fucking call me out-

 **Thotticus** : woooow simping for the onceler? Not cool Rantaro

 **Tinky Winky** : yknow the onceler was kinda sexy

 **Thotticus** : dear god we are not having this conversation at 2:30am

 **Dipsy** : I agree with Kokichi

 **Another Blue Item** : we get it rantaro you like tall guys 

**Dipsy** : SHUT UP

 **Laa Laa** : cmon tsu tsu! Time for more sculpting!

 **Another Blue Item** : alright alright im coming

 **Tojo Joestar:** once you’re done for the night go straight to bed you two.

 **Laa Laa** : Yes Kirumi!

 **Tojo Joestar** : Of course Kirumi!

 **Dipsy** : oh so we’re just ignoring this slander against me now?

 **Tojo Joestar** : yes. yes we are.

 **Tinky Winky** : pretty much lmao

 **Thotticus** : its what we usually do

 **Goku?** : shut up Rantaro

 **Po** : im ascending there is no need for rantaro anymore

 **Dipsy** : THERE IS SUCH AN UNCOOL VIBE IN THIS CHILIS TONIGHT

Rantaro shut off his phone with a chuckle after that last message, he knew his friends meant no harm towards him, so he just went along with all the jokes. Continuing to watch the questionably odd movie, he found himself humming along to one of the many songs.

Another person made their presence by clearing their throat, the adventurer turned his head and saw Tenko standing in the doorway to the common room.

”I thought you were joking about the Lorax thing.” She said, hopping over the couch and landing comfortably, stealing his popcorn.

”Like I would ever joke about my love for the Lorax, even if it is strange, it’s a childhood movie for me yknow?” He had a relaxed smile, and he leant back into the couch even more.

Both were wearing simple tank tops with comfy shorts, Tenko’s hair was loose and free and Rantaro’s had a few curlers in them.

”Still can’t believe you actually use hair curlers dude...” The fighter said with a smirk, glancing over at the boy.

”To be fair, you really thought this beautiful hair came naturally?” He joked, causing them both to laugh.

”You got me there...surprised you ain’t watching this movie with Korekiyo though...” Tenko looks back at the TV, trying to understand whatever the hell is going on.

”Oh I told him to get some extra sleep tonight! Since he hasn’t been sleeping well lately, so I thought letting him having an early night would help out a little...” He replied, stretching out. 

“Makes sense, needs his sleep after staying up so late each night to nail that history test we had.”

”So you gonna stick around for the rest of this movie?” Rantaro tilts his head a little as he questions Tenko.

”Might as well, I’m running coffee right now so what could possibly go wrong...” She smirked and that caused Rantaro to chuckle slightly.

”Alright, alright, now shhh! This is the best part!” He smiled brightly and turned his head back to the screen.

_The Family Disappointments_

**Tinky Winky** : do fish have feelings or do they endlessly swim around and go glub glub glub and never think about anything other than food?

 **Thotticus** : idk man i think they might have emotions but theyre probably the bare minimum

 **Po** : why the fuck are we having this conversation

 **Po** : i didnt ask for this

 **Thotticus** : i didnt ask to be born but here i am

 **Po** : get therapy 

**Thotticus** : never

 **Tojo Joestar** : I would suggest you three getting to sleep, now.

 **Thotticus** : but im nearly done with this invention!!

 **Tojo Joestar** : that’s the excuse you made up last time, finish it up in the morning, go to sleep now.

 **Thotticus** : fine smh 😔

 **Po** : night Kirumi 

**Tinky Winky** : night Kirumi!!

 **Tojo Joestar** : Goodnight you three, rest well ok?

 **Po** : we will dont worry

Kirumi read the final message and placed her phone down onto the kitchen counter, she continued to clean up the mess that was made by Junko and Kokichi before the two skittered off once she arrived.

”And here I thought you’d actually get some sleep for once...” A low and slightly deep voice spoke out, causing the maid to turn her head.

”Ah Maki, what are you doing up so late?” She asked, tilting her head to the side a little bit.

”Had a feeling you weren’t sleeping, got up to check on you.” The assassin firmly said, walking over to her girlfriend and taking the mop from her hands.

“Maki-“ Kirumi was interrupted by a glare from the brunette.

”Nope. You are not overworking yourself, take a break, rest ok?” The only time Maki ever showed concern for her class, was with Kirumi.

”...fine, but you’re coming back to bed with me...” The maid said with a slight blush, taking the assassin’s hand carefully.

This caused both to blush even more.

”Um-“ Maki coughed quickly but nodded, “Yeah...Cmon let’s go...and so you don’t get distracted by anything...” Kirumi was suddenly held up bridal style. The two made their way back to Maki’s dorm, since both were already out of their usual uniform and in more comfortable night clothes, they laid down on the bed.

Kirumi had her back to Maki, and she suddenly felt arms wrap around her waist, causing her to be pulled closer.

”You want to be the big spoon tonight I see...” The maid joked, and she could feel the assassins face go bright red.

”S-Shut up and sleep mkay?” Was the only reply given.

”Alright alright...goodnight my love...” Kirumi said, yawning before she felt her eyes shut, hearing one last thing before sleep finally overtook her.

”Night Kirumi...love you...” 

**Author's Note:**

> ThiccSoldierThighs: Mukuro  
> Bluebaerry: Sayaka  
> Kirishima who?: Leon  
> Seggsy: Makoto  
> SmallGremlin: Chihiro  
> ScroogeMcDuckKinnie/Swaggie McG: Byakuya  
> vroom vroom: Mondo  
> get out me car: Taka  
> Ludenwhore: Celestia  
> sexy insomniac: Kyoko  
> H2O BITCH: Hina  
> BlondeBimbo: Junko


End file.
